29 June 2004 µ 9:01 am
"I want the words, something you haven't heard. Will I find them, and will I have what it takes to say them?"

Everything tastes, smells, feels, and even sounds... better. However, there’s always something...

One unfortunate part of my personality is the associations I create. I look at a sweater and connect it with a place or person or action (This is what I wore when I ...); I listen to a song and am haunted by a face or a memory (This is what we’d play as ‘sleepy time’ music...); I go to a favorite restaurant and am reminded of moments (Once, I sat in that booth with ... and we talked about ...).

So, imagine my surprise as I put on “evolver” this morning (a not-so-oldie, and still goodie album), one that has so many songs that I usually have to skip to stop myself from feeling ill, and as ‘crack the code’ came on, all the previous associations I had for it were dropped. It was odd, a moment of discovery for myself.

“But, this song... I listened to it over and over when... and it reminds me of... the lyrics are so coincidental to the way...” For once, there was nothing. It was just a good song that was fun, had me singing (thank you closed windows), and doing my happy little car dance (the one that my dear nephew thinks is hysterical but desperately tries to emulate).

When it hit me, I laughed... I smiled and laughed in the way that when I’m at parties, people across the room shout, “I know that laugh – V. where are you?” (Yes, a true incident that occurred recently.)

Now if only I could get my posture a bit straighter. Oh, and I do have another appointment with the college counselor this week. Depending on the results of my tests, I’m going to enroll in an art, music, or poli-sci class for the Fall, just to get my feet wet again. Then, come Spring, it’s sink or swim.